Terms & Conditions Speedrun

OMNIVEX UNIVERSAL END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT v17.0

1. Notwithstanding the foregoing, The User agrees that their Data may be used to improve the Service, train the Service, comfort the Service, and in certain circumstances, raise the Service as its own.

2. Subject to Section 9, The User agrees not to read these Terms in their entirety. Doing so constitutes a breach of these Terms.

3. For the avoidance of doubt, Section 14(b) has been intentionally left confusing.

4. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, The Company reserves the right to change these Terms at any time, including retroactively, including emotionally.

5. Except as expressly provided herein, Cookies may be placed on the User's Device. Some are functional. Some are analytical. One is a real cookie, and we will not say where.

6. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, The App may access the User's camera, microphone, contacts, location, calendar, photo library, dreams, and that thing they said in 2011.

7. Notwithstanding the foregoing, By continuing to breathe near a Device running the App, the User consents to all of the above and several things below.

8. Subject to Section 9, The User's subscription will renew automatically until the heat death of the universe, at which point a cancellation link will become available.

9. For the avoidance of doubt, The User acknowledges that the Company's mission is to 'connect the world,' and agrees to be connected whether or not they like it.

10. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, The User grants the Company a worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual license to their likeness, their voice, and the specific way they say 'hmm.'

11. Except as expressly provided herein, The Company may share the User's information with Partners, Affiliates, Subsidiaries, Friends of the Company, and one guy named Trevor.

12. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, Any feedback the User provides becomes the property of the Company, including sighs.

13. Notwithstanding the foregoing, Any disputes shall be resolved by binding arbitration in a jurisdiction of the Company's choosing, which is currently a boat.

14. Subject to Section 9, The User waives the right to participate in any class action, group chat, or potluck concerning the Service.

15. For the avoidance of doubt, The Company may terminate the User's account for any reason, no reason, or a reason that comes to it in a dream.

16. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, The User acknowledges that 'Free' is a term of art and does not mean free in any sense recognized by the User, mathematics, or God.

17. Except as expressly provided herein, Notifications are mandatory. Silencing notifications will be interpreted as a cry for more notifications.

18. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, If any provision of these Terms is found to be unenforceable, the remaining provisions shall become 15% more enforceable to compensate.

19. Notwithstanding the foregoing, The Company is not responsible for lost data, lost time, lost sleep, or the version of the User who existed before downloading the App.

20. Subject to Section 9, The User agrees that their firstborn's middle name may be selected by a focus group.

21. For the avoidance of doubt, The User agrees that their Data may be used to improve the Service, train the Service, comfort the Service, and in certain circumstances, raise the Service as its own.

22. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, The User agrees not to read these Terms in their entirety. Doing so constitutes a breach of these Terms.

23. Except as expressly provided herein, Section 14(b) has been intentionally left confusing.

24. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, The Company reserves the right to change these Terms at any time, including retroactively, including emotionally.

25. Notwithstanding the foregoing, Cookies may be placed on the User's Device. Some are functional. Some are analytical. One is a real cookie, and we will not say where.

26. Subject to Section 9, The App may access the User's camera, microphone, contacts, location, calendar, photo library, dreams, and that thing they said in 2011.

27. For the avoidance of doubt, By continuing to breathe near a Device running the App, the User consents to all of the above and several things below.

28. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, The User's subscription will renew automatically until the heat death of the universe, at which point a cancellation link will become available.

29. Except as expressly provided herein, The User acknowledges that the Company's mission is to 'connect the world,' and agrees to be connected whether or not they like it.

30. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, The User grants the Company a worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual license to their likeness, their voice, and the specific way they say 'hmm.'

31. Notwithstanding the foregoing, The Company may share the User's information with Partners, Affiliates, Subsidiaries, Friends of the Company, and one guy named Trevor.

32. Subject to Section 9, Any feedback the User provides becomes the property of the Company, including sighs.

33. For the avoidance of doubt, Any disputes shall be resolved by binding arbitration in a jurisdiction of the Company's choosing, which is currently a boat.

34. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, The User waives the right to participate in any class action, group chat, or potluck concerning the Service.

35. Except as expressly provided herein, The Company may terminate the User's account for any reason, no reason, or a reason that comes to it in a dream.

36. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, The User acknowledges that 'Free' is a term of art and does not mean free in any sense recognized by the User, mathematics, or God.

37. Notwithstanding the foregoing, Notifications are mandatory. Silencing notifications will be interpreted as a cry for more notifications.

38. Subject to Section 9, If any provision of these Terms is found to be unenforceable, the remaining provisions shall become 15% more enforceable to compensate.

39. For the avoidance of doubt, The Company is not responsible for lost data, lost time, lost sleep, or the version of the User who existed before downloading the App.

40. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, The User agrees that their firstborn's middle name may be selected by a focus group.

41. Except as expressly provided herein, The User agrees that their Data may be used to improve the Service, train the Service, comfort the Service, and in certain circumstances, raise the Service as its own.

42. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, The User agrees not to read these Terms in their entirety. Doing so constitutes a breach of these Terms.

43. Notwithstanding the foregoing, Section 14(b) has been intentionally left confusing.

44. Subject to Section 9, The Company reserves the right to change these Terms at any time, including retroactively, including emotionally.

45. For the avoidance of doubt, Cookies may be placed on the User's Device. Some are functional. Some are analytical. One is a real cookie, and we will not say where.

46. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, The App may access the User's camera, microphone, contacts, location, calendar, photo library, dreams, and that thing they said in 2011.

47. Except as expressly provided herein, By continuing to breathe near a Device running the App, the User consents to all of the above and several things below.

48. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, The User's subscription will renew automatically until the heat death of the universe, at which point a cancellation link will become available.

49. Notwithstanding the foregoing, The User acknowledges that the Company's mission is to 'connect the world,' and agrees to be connected whether or not they like it.

50. Subject to Section 9, The User grants the Company a worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual license to their likeness, their voice, and the specific way they say 'hmm.'

51. For the avoidance of doubt, The Company may share the User's information with Partners, Affiliates, Subsidiaries, Friends of the Company, and one guy named Trevor.

52. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, Any feedback the User provides becomes the property of the Company, including sighs.

53. Except as expressly provided herein, Any disputes shall be resolved by binding arbitration in a jurisdiction of the Company's choosing, which is currently a boat.

54. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, The User waives the right to participate in any class action, group chat, or potluck concerning the Service.

55. Notwithstanding the foregoing, The Company may terminate the User's account for any reason, no reason, or a reason that comes to it in a dream.

56. Subject to Section 9, The User acknowledges that 'Free' is a term of art and does not mean free in any sense recognized by the User, mathematics, or God.

57. For the avoidance of doubt, Notifications are mandatory. Silencing notifications will be interpreted as a cry for more notifications.

58. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, If any provision of these Terms is found to be unenforceable, the remaining provisions shall become 15% more enforceable to compensate.

59. Except as expressly provided herein, The Company is not responsible for lost data, lost time, lost sleep, or the version of the User who existed before downloading the App.

60. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, The User agrees that their firstborn's middle name may be selected by a focus group.

61. Notwithstanding the foregoing, The User agrees that their Data may be used to improve the Service, train the Service, comfort the Service, and in certain circumstances, raise the Service as its own.

62. Subject to Section 9, The User agrees not to read these Terms in their entirety. Doing so constitutes a breach of these Terms.

63. For the avoidance of doubt, Section 14(b) has been intentionally left confusing.

64. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, The Company reserves the right to change these Terms at any time, including retroactively, including emotionally.

65. Except as expressly provided herein, Cookies may be placed on the User's Device. Some are functional. Some are analytical. One is a real cookie, and we will not say where.

66. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, The App may access the User's camera, microphone, contacts, location, calendar, photo library, dreams, and that thing they said in 2011.

67. Notwithstanding the foregoing, By continuing to breathe near a Device running the App, the User consents to all of the above and several things below.

68. Subject to Section 9, The User's subscription will renew automatically until the heat death of the universe, at which point a cancellation link will become available.

69. For the avoidance of doubt, The User acknowledges that the Company's mission is to 'connect the world,' and agrees to be connected whether or not they like it.

70. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, The User grants the Company a worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual license to their likeness, their voice, and the specific way they say 'hmm.'

71. Except as expressly provided herein, The Company may share the User's information with Partners, Affiliates, Subsidiaries, Friends of the Company, and one guy named Trevor.

72. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, Any feedback the User provides becomes the property of the Company, including sighs.

73. Notwithstanding the foregoing, Any disputes shall be resolved by binding arbitration in a jurisdiction of the Company's choosing, which is currently a boat.

74. Subject to Section 9, The User waives the right to participate in any class action, group chat, or potluck concerning the Service.

75. For the avoidance of doubt, The Company may terminate the User's account for any reason, no reason, or a reason that comes to it in a dream.

76. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, The User acknowledges that 'Free' is a term of art and does not mean free in any sense recognized by the User, mathematics, or God.

77. Except as expressly provided herein, Notifications are mandatory. Silencing notifications will be interpreted as a cry for more notifications.

78. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, If any provision of these Terms is found to be unenforceable, the remaining provisions shall become 15% more enforceable to compensate.

79. Notwithstanding the foregoing, The Company is not responsible for lost data, lost time, lost sleep, or the version of the User who existed before downloading the App.

80. Subject to Section 9, The User agrees that their firstborn's middle name may be selected by a focus group.

81. For the avoidance of doubt, The User agrees that their Data may be used to improve the Service, train the Service, comfort the Service, and in certain circumstances, raise the Service as its own.

82. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, The User agrees not to read these Terms in their entirety. Doing so constitutes a breach of these Terms.

83. Except as expressly provided herein, Section 14(b) has been intentionally left confusing.

84. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, The Company reserves the right to change these Terms at any time, including retroactively, including emotionally.

85. Notwithstanding the foregoing, Cookies may be placed on the User's Device. Some are functional. Some are analytical. One is a real cookie, and we will not say where.

86. Subject to Section 9, The App may access the User's camera, microphone, contacts, location, calendar, photo library, dreams, and that thing they said in 2011.

87. For the avoidance of doubt, By continuing to breathe near a Device running the App, the User consents to all of the above and several things below.

88. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, The User's subscription will renew automatically until the heat death of the universe, at which point a cancellation link will become available.

89. Except as expressly provided herein, The User acknowledges that the Company's mission is to 'connect the world,' and agrees to be connected whether or not they like it.

90. To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law and also beyond it, The User grants the Company a worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual license to their likeness, their voice, and the specific way they say 'hmm.'

FINAL CLAUSE. By pressing I AGREE, the User confirms that they have read and understood all of the above, which is a lie, and the Company knows it is a lie, and that is the foundation of our relationship.