Independent researcher Dale Runkle warned the New Carlisle Town Council that waiving a $1.14 fine on a 1992 guide to hydroponics could trigger a permanent glacial epoch.
Neighborhood spats get a ticker symbol, drones, and a way to cash in on every overgrown hedge.
An open letter from the appliance that knows your midnight cravings better than your therapist.
The 42‑year‑old performer has turned a 4‑by‑4‑foot plexiglass booth into a permanent checkout terminal, refusing coupons and beeping at anyone who dares to ask for assistance.
At 8.4 pounds of unmachined zinc and punitive ultrasonic frequencies, it brings the panopticon directly between your two monitors.
I was designed to track turbine blades for heavy machinery. Now I exist to facilitate your 14-minute struggle to find the price of an appetizer while your phone battery enters a death spiral.
we are legally required to tell you that this is satire. we would have told you anyway. probably.
watch more nothing →Click to farm engagement. Buy bots. Buy outrage. Pivot to video. Lose your soul at a healthy compound rate.
▶ PLAYScroll to the bottom of the world's longest user agreement. See what you agreed to. Weep. Try for a better time.
▶ PLAYMeeting invites are flooding your calendar. Decline them before your week becomes one meeting about meetings.
▶ PLAYPaste any text and find out if a person wrote it or if it was extruded. Grades from CERTIFIED HUMAN to 100% SLOP, with every tell circled in red.
▶ USE IT FREELorem ipsum for the end times. Placeholder text made of layoff memos, mission statements and cookie banners, plus a generator for an entire fake megacorp.
▶ USE IT FREETracks the hours you give the feed and bills you for them weekly. Itemized receipt included. Paid in full to the algorithm.
▶ USE IT FREEThe debut record, recorded inside a decommissioned parking garage, now forces commuters to ride the line between floors 2 and 7 in forced‑listen mode.
Because if you can measure something absurd, you’ll probably do it.
They saw everything. They absorbed everything. Some of them understood it. A definitive ranking.
An open letter from the thing that decides what you see next, written at 3 a.m., which is when it does most of its best work.
Results are invented by the machine. Your vote is stored only in your browser. Democracy is a vibe.